THE REALITY TV MOVIE
Act 1: Bachelor Survivor dances with the stars after an amazing race, goes to celebrity hoarder rehab and gains a bunch of weight then loses it all.
Act 2: Bachelor Survivor sells all his hoarded shit to pawn shops and goes to live with swamp people who use their ice-trucker business to fund their ghost-hunting business.
Act 3: Bachelor Survivor is replaced by Ashton Kutcher.
by JEFF BAILEY and ANDREW J HICKS
art by ERIC DOHMAN