by J. MIZ
A few weeks back, I had a random chick friend me on Facebook. I don’t know her but probably should. We grew up in the same area and must have traveled in similar social circles. I am basically a Facebook whore now, in order to generate some readers for my blogging ventures. I barely look at my news feed and rarely look at a “friend’s” wall unless I’m on some type of stealth-like stalking mission. However, her updates, activities and likes are so dull I question if she’s truly human or not. Seriously, that kid Kip Drordy, from South Park, who had one friend… this chick makes him look like that Dos Equis Guy. Allow me to provide some examples:
- I hear my hometown is about to get a big snow storm.
- I’m at the movies right now.
- I am watching Spartacus: Gods of the Arena.
- I am watching Face/Off. (Wait, did I hit some Facebook time travel wormhole?!?!)
- I am watching Top Chef All-Stars.
- ~ Likes SIRIUS XM Radio. (Do ya? Do ya like it? Do ya?)
- I am watching The Social Network. (And OBVIOUSLY living the fucking dream, lady!)
The only reason her friendship is secured with me on Facebook is she has family members that are NOTORIOUS gang bangers back home, and she keeps “LEVELING UP” on Mafia Wars.