Posts tagged ‘Internet Dating’

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November 4, 2011

Online Dating Profile Disqualifications

by JUSTIN OLOMON
edited by ANDREW J HICKS

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Enjoys inflating heart-shaped balloons a little too much. Next!

I keep seeing other people’s posts about online dating, so I’m gonna go check out one of these matchmaking sites and see what kind of girls I can find.

*starts scrolling through profiles*

Okay, 25? Looks 50. Next!

Favorite book is Twilight. Next!

Favorite TV show is “Jersey Shore.” Next!

Single mother. Next!

Religious. Next!

Part of the 99%. Next!

Tea Partier. Next!

Too chubby. Next!

Too skinny. Next!

From Pekin, Ill. Next!

I (HEART) BIEBER! Next!

Looking for a tough man. Next!

Makes less than $20,000 a year. Next!

Luvs to paaartay hard in the name of Cthullu! Not sure what that means. Next!

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Posted in New Media, Pop Culture, Relationships | Comments Off

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April 27, 2011

How Not To Internet Date, 27 April 2011

By MICHELLE DEE

Being a girl on a social networking site, you learn really fast that you are a target for losers looking for a booty call. This is the case no matter your relationship status. I found so much humor in this, I decided to create a singles profile on a dating website just to bait suckers like the one below. Please, enjoy the outcome!

Commentary Provided by Michelle Dee

iwish: nice pic

Michelle Dee: Thanks you too

*typical to start out with a cheesy compliment but still well within the normal range*

iwish: so I’m curious have you had any luck yet on here?

*Now lets ask about previous encounters, like that should be any of your business or have any bearing on anything we may have together*

Michelle Dee: Nope… you?

iwish: nope not at all but sure do wish i had some company right about now thats for sure. so what are you up to. notice you put some new pics up. so what are you exactly looking for what i mean is are you on here to chat to talk to hook up what

*In reference to a picture of a female angler fish I put on my profile. Clearly this must contain some hidden message about what I’m looking for?*

Michelle Dee: To meet people and see where it goes.

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Posted in Conversational, Found Humour, Life Lessons, New Media | Comments Off

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February 25, 2011

How Not To Internet Date, 25 Feb. 2011

by Michelle Dee

Being a girl on a social networking site, you learn really fast that you are a target for losers looking for a booty call. This is the case no matter your relationship status. I found so much humor in this, I decided to create a singles profile on a dating website just to bait suckers like the one below. Please, enjoy the outcome!

Dab1971: hello beautiful,how are you?

Michelle Dee: i’m ok

Dab1971: good, i am to since i heard from beautiful :)  so whats a good looking lady like yourself doing single?

Michelle Dee: well i was married.. then I divorced, so now I’m single.

Dab1971: lol, same as me,i was married for 10 yrs been divorced for 5 yrs

Michelle Dee: lol

Dab1971: so you date black guys

Michelle Dee: not currently

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Posted in Conversational, Found Humour, Life Lessons, New Media | Comments Off

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February 18, 2011

How Not To Internet Date, 18 Feb. 2011

by Michelle Dee

Being a girl on a social networking site you learn really fast that you are a target for losers looking for a booty call. This is the case no matter what your relationship status. I found so much humor in this that I decided to create a singles profile on a dating website just to bait suckers like the one below. Please, enjoy the outcome!

andy60641:
ho im andy in chicago. why are you up so late?

Michelle Dee:
“ho”? fat finger syndrome? :P

andy60641:
no just calling you a ho

Michelle Dee:
Oh well, that’s not very nice. What’s the point?

andy60641:
im just kidding!

Michelle Dee:
hah…

Posted in Conversational, Found Humour, Life Lessons, New Media | 1 Comment »

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